i wouldn't say bleak. not ecstatic either. neither would i admit melancholy. it is more of non-eager expectation for the coming days.

a lion lying in wait for the next prey.
a prophet waiting for prophecy to be fulfilled.
waiting for the bell to ring.

it may seem like wasting time. on the other hand, patience is a virtue.

if you only knew who i am ten years from now
maybe i would be treated differently

but we do not base our decisions on if's.

i would have been a general
were it not for the bad reputation
that goes along with it

generals used to be honorable
waging wars in defense of the homeland

without outside conflict
they are left to war among themselves
like savages for a piece of honor
known as position

after all
great generals of history
are known for their battles
not for the lack of it

where there are no wars...
they create one

in this present battle i face

i stand alone
to die alone

no one to trust
no one to tell

a battle i can't avoid
a battle with myself.