and so, it is. i read the news and found out she topped the exam! i am so happy for her, good for her.

good for her. then it dawned upon me. i was just another nobody shooting at the moon. it does not matter if i were nobody, because that is just the way i would have wanted it to be. but to be shooting at a moon far out in space is like a dream. with the probability of success close to zero. so, do i give up?

so do i give up? these mixed feelings for someone i hardly know, for someone who i don't even think knows me, these mixed feelings of happiness and sadness...

these mixed feelings.. i don't know where it is heading.

so i think i'll just wait for this feeling to dissipate.

it's sad, i think i won't be seeing her for a while. or ever be hearing from her again. probably.